Lezbolicious Wednesday!
Ah, yes. I remember the days of being 7-years-old, playing in the dirt with the neighbors while our mothers sat together and imagined what a wonderful couple we’d make some day. Little did they know that I had just pushed little Johnny down on his 8-year-old tush for singing that unfathomably, awful “K-I-S-S-I-N-G” song. Ugh. Have I always hated men? Well, yes. I mean — no. But ultimately, yes.
I think it has something to do with the amount of Nerf guns my father bought me as a child. One of my favorite things to do as a little tyke (huh huh) was to make the dog sit and stay in random areas, and then shoot her in the boot with those foamy arrows. I don’t think she minded at all, I mean any attention was attention and if that meant arrow in the butt, then that meant arrow in the butt.
Who am I kidding, I was totally born this way! I practically chainsawed my way out of my mother’s womb, toolbelt in tact. All I was missing were the Doc Martens. But this isn’t really about me. Well, it is about me.
Hmm. Awkward…
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